My mom sent this to me and it is so appropriate at this time in my life...I hope that you take from it what I did.....Enjoy!!



A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty min utes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelentin g. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in th e boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, bu t on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

I've had a revealing week this week... Where to start??

Lately I have had a lot of doubts, doubts fed to me from Satan (and could have been from no where else) and for some reason I seem to listen. I have been feeling inadequate, in many ways. The most significant would be in the area of the youth ministry God has charged me with starting. I dont know why He chose me, I dont know what was going through His mind, I dont know why He thought I was the best person for THIS task. I have a heart for youth ministry, there is no doubt. I enjoy young people...I have a heart for making a difference in kids lives when they are in the stage of life where they dont know what is up and what is down...they are trying to fit in and be cool and act the part...they dont feel accepted "as is" anywhere. My desire is to build a place where they "fit in" just as they are...I want them to feel God's love for us, He made us the way we are and why would He want us to change? Why would He want us to change essential parts of who we are just to feel accepted?? And for some reason kids of a more youthful age than my own kinda look up to me...it makes me feel a tinge old, but I know I'm not...hehe! I knew that when I'd only gone to this church for a little while and I was already feeling lead to this youth ministry pioneering, it had to be of God, it COULD NOT be from me! lol I would have never in a million years just out of the blue chosen to start a youth ministry and put myself out there to be used in this way. So as I know that God is all around, up in, and all over this church, I know He will continue to be with me when I need Him. He will continually support me in EVERY aspect! But the most recent lie that Satan has tossed my way is..."how dare you feel you are adequate enough to lead these kids and act as a mentor and role model???" And believe me, I bit hard onto that lie. I've allowed myself to believe this and allowed myself to dwell on it far far too much. Its seeped into my head and my thoughts and to my spirit. Its started to eat its way against my self-confidence that He has worked so hard to build up in my life. That is until Monday night. We are starting a women's ministry at my church...Pillars of Influence is the name of the study. So I didnt think much of the name, just showed up to see a bunch of my friends and fellowship. My pastor's wife, Ruth, is quickly becoming one of my dearest friends...she lost the DVD that was supposed to start us off and go with the handouts for this study. So instead, she started by saying that each of us would take turns around the room speaking out loud what it is that we feel God has equipped us to minister with....not cocky, but confidently state how God allows us to work in other's lives. I immediately cowered and sunk as far as I could into the couch. I tried to be invisible, but that doesnt work well in a crowd of 5 :) So I also know that Ruth would not have allowed me to pass my turn....so I mustered up the strength to state my gift in ministry seems to be in the area of youth ministry, but I wasnt confident of that much any more. (totally out of character of what I would have normally said) I was immediately lifted up by my sister's in encouragement...then at the end they put me in the "hot seat" and laid hands on me in prayer....I dont know that I've ever been more blessed in my life. I felt physically lightened as those demons of doubt and lies left me....I literally left feeling about 20lbs lighter!!! It was the most amazing experience....I felt so supported and reassured that those were complete lies that I was being fed. I was so surrounded by loving arms (physically and mentally and spiritually) that I was wholely overwhelmed! So tonight, as I sat through Bible study and participated, I began to slightly feel those feelings try to creep back a bit. But then afterwards, my pastor and his wife asked if I would stay behind and talk to them. (I kinda felt like a kindergardener that had finger-painted on the wall and the teacher was keeping me behind to scold me) He said that Ruth had told him about what I had said on Monday about being insecure in youth ministry. What I then heard blew my mind...... He told me that he knows that what I've been listening to lies...he said he is amazed at my relationship with his 15 year old daughter and would be honored if I would mentor and lead his daughter...and the most amazing part to me is that he said he would be honored if his daugher grew up to be like me! She is such a precious girl and I am honored to know her....she is my youth group right now!! :) I was so floored and blown away that I had no words! A daddy told me that he would be honored if his little precious daughter would be like me....WOW!!! I still have no words....I....I..... I think that the only thing to say is that it has to be God in me that he sees...I know that I'm in no way, shape, or form perfect and do not deserve Keith's praise, but my Jesus in me definately deserves praise!!! I didnt want to seem arrogant in telling people about this, so I thought the perfect thing to do is blog it on my blog that no one reads! haha! It lets me shout it out without telling everyone!!! :D So...... God is good, He is faithful, and I know that He wont let me down....He's gone far far and above any expectation that I could have ever had for how He would bless me!

Thank you Lord for your unfailing love, your faithfulness, and your caring about my thoughts and feelings. I am amazed beyond words at what you have done for me!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!

Tonight at church there was such a peace about who were are as a body...as a unit. God solidified some strong bonds together tonight. He freed me in prayer like never before...I allowed myself to be vulnerable in a way I didnt think I was capable....I trusted myself to God and to my fellow church memebers......and the reward was worth the risk. I felt closer to God tonight than possibly ever before. He showed Himself so evident in our midst. As we shared our thoughts and insights and fed off of one another, we dove deep into fellowship as well as encouraging each other. We are such a different variety of people. There are quiet and outspoken...older and younger....insightful and eloquent then there was those that stumbled on putting into words what was in their hearts...........but it didnt matter what the obstacles that the devil may have put in our path, God reigned and His presence was felt by I believe all in the room. I saw so many different people responding in different ways. I learned alot about everyone.....I love to people watch and learn about everyone and how they work. I sooo look forward to seeing how God brings us together as a unit, as a church body....as a group of leaders that will take our little church to the next level...to reach out to OUR community and touch lives. Im so excited to see what happens :D

My Jesus....You heard our prayers tonight, be with us all this week and continue to make Yourself evident to each and every person. Thank you for your faithfulness and your kindness....I dont deserve Your forgiveness, I am more grateful than I can put into words...I LOVE YOU!!!